The Scary Time...

The time is a crucial thing in anyone's life. Time teaches, time manages, time heals, time takes care of everything! Time makes you forget things too. I am on a journey of my own life. It is scary most of the time. I tend to mess up when I lose something. I tend to act crazy when I know I am losing. My father was right when he said I do not know how to lose when I used to play tennis...I still do not know this...! And I know I can not change this now because it is too hard to do away with old bad habits. I am getting old and somehow I am scared of the very facts. I have not had victory in my life. Will I be a loser for ever? I know this can be true because I am not doing my full efforts. I am not having encouragement. Nobody wants me doing anything. I am going down. I do not know What will happen? I do not know!

What inspire me....

• A cup of tea...served to me when I am tired yet ready to work.
• A clean desk with arranged books, pens...with a comfortable chair. 
• A terrasse with flowers.
• My fit body and face minus double chin. 
• My fine clothes and nice beautiful work dresses. 
• A lot of leisure time for thinking. 
• Few books to read. 
• A driver at service.
• A maid at service who can offer tea when I am tired. 
• A good computer with good net connection. 
• A good house with a spacious kitchen. 
• A morning workout with no hurry. 
• A lot of money. 
• An evening tennis session. 
• Hell lot of friends who have blind faith in my capabilities. 
• No social pressure of being OLD and not getting married or starting a family. 
• Not having to go to the job daily. 
• A team which support me and is dedicated to enhance my performance as an examinee. 
• A youthful environment without suspicious eyes staring at me in confusion. 

Wow...this would be great if I have all of these. 

my environmental concern...

hi
Its getting hotter and hotter every day. The Earth is radiating its heat and she is being inhospitable by every passing day.
Of course this observation is based on my experience with a movie which I saw last night. It impacted me tremendously. I am more sensitive towards my environment to day.
My sensitivity does not help creating awareness about our environment to the community I live in. There has to be a proper agency of trained personnels who can provide the right  method to do so.  

hi...

hi,
From today onward I have to restart my schedule and be completely prepared for my two exams. I need to concentrate and divide my time according to the syllabus. I know I can manage home, job and Jit priority and my study simultaneously as all of these are for my own support. I need to be more focused just for the rest of my life :)

Respect...isn't it Love?

You lose your dignity you lose yourself. I thought being thoughtful and lenient, life could be lived peacefully...but there are people who make you feel small because you are soft, full of respect and considerate. You love by losing yourself completely and people start take you for granted.
What is respect? Is it just a show off? Is it just the social status? Is it just how much you please stronger and insult weaker?
This is a new lesson which I am learning today...! No matter what you feel or give...you are judged by your capacity to influence the society and that is called strength and through this strength you earn your respect!
What is Strength? I thought being able to love is strength...! but I am constantly being told that asserting yourself by being non acceptable to wrongs is strength...? What is it? What is wrong? Who will determine this? If I am not finding it wrong then why not respect my decision?
Why cant respect me with my original nature? Why make me feel bad about my own personal traits?
If I love....and I love everyone. If I care one...I care everyone....If I understand one...I understand everyone...and If I do not get annoyed easily to one....I can not get annoyed to others too! This is my nature. If someone can not respect me with this....how will they respect me at all?
What is a true respect given by a person who really loves you....I want to know! I am not in hurry....I can wait!