Staying here is not a usual experience for me. it is certainly a life time experience. i am not very good with managing things in my life...either my relationships or my profession. both are so important yet so mysterious for me. my professional life has always been my only concern since my childhood. so i have to say that i am more professional than personal...still my conducts are often driven by my emotions which are always proved to be so immature. i like my principles...and i do want them to be extremely strong. my idea of work...service...duty is what these words itself describe. i have never come across with the reality of the existing world... with so called system of the world. i am now...! its not scary. its just Real! does this really happen...now i know how! how people get involved with the materialist gains of the world and driven away from their Dharma!
My dharma is to keep on working according to my principles...without doubting myself. the atmosphere is not very conducive to feel proud of the statement i have just given. i am weak. i think a lot and this makes me confused most of the time. i know what is rightful duty of mine still i always empathize with the other situation. i do not think in one line. my thinking is scattered in many directions good...and bad...! i know honesty is the only asset i have got in my personality...rest is nothing. i am here in the place of Gautam Buddhda who believed in Mdhyam Marg. what is this madhyam marg? i thought i know it at-least theoretically. now i know to have a balanced path which is the mid way of the best and the worst...is difficult. how would i know the mid way when i have not experienced the two extremes?... i am here in this world to perform certain duties and bid adieu... my analytical power is being challenged...i am thinking too much before every step i am taking. i know i will learn to perform my duty on my own set rules someday. i am waiting!!!
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